How do you deal with high maintenance people?
Posted by Dr. Earl R. Smith II in Questions, tags: adviser, advisory board, angel investor, board of directors, CEO, chairman, coaching, consulting, director, earl r smith ii, earl smith, Executive Coaching, federal circle, federal contracting, funding, Governance, government contractor, investing, investment, investor, Leadership, leadership assessment, leadership coaching, leadership development, leadership styles, management assessment, managing partner, Personal Growth, the federal circle, turnaround, Turnaround Management, Venture CapitalDr. Earl R. Smith II
Managing Partner, The Federal Circle
DrSmith@Dr-Smith.com
Dr-Smith.com
We’ve all run into this type – people who are just more trouble than they are worth. Things are never settled with them – chaos seems to follow them around – and they are intensely needy. They arrive in a flurry of uncertainty and need and leave you exhausted and spent. When you consider what it costs to connect with them against what results, you always find that the cost outweighs the benefits. Since you can’t always avoid or marginalize them in either your personal or business life, how do you deal with high maintenance people?
© Dr. Earl R. Smith II
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Dr. Smith is a proven senior executive, Dr. Smith is Managing Partner of The Federal Circle. The Federal Circle partners with teams and existing companies. We help them up their game and win big in the Federal space. We also arrange funding for acquisitions and expansion by acquisition. Our model is based on the belief that, if you select the very best and work with them in a highly professional and focused manner, the results will be truly amazing. He is the author of Amazing Pace: Turbo-charged Business Development – a book that shows how Advisory Boards can dramatically increase revenue. Dr. Smith is also the author of Dream Walk: Parables for the Living – a book of Raven Tales and exploration.
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dr-smith.infoThanks to all for contributing to this discussion. I have learned a lot from reading the posts. One lesson stands out. High maintenance people seem to go through life singing ‘it’s all about me”. They find a way to turn almost every discussion into a chance to brag or put others down with an air of superiority. I have encountered these types in many organizations and forms. For the most part they puff up their accomplishments and wealth but, when you look more closely, they are just another lonely soul who hasn’t yet figured out that, if you treat people like crap, you end up with only yourself and sycophants for company. The key point is that it is so unnecessary and out of place this strutting. One of my most responded to questions dealt with the gratuitous insult. http://www.dr-smith.info/the-gratuitous-insult-%E2%80%93-how-do-you-respond/ To date I have received almost 400 responses to that query. It seems to me that this ‘I am great and you are merely you’ syndrome is a variation of that behavior. I would be interested in the group’s thoughts on whether this behavior and high-maintenance are somehow related. Dr. Smith
I am not a simple person. I do appreciate your understanding that and by all accounts, I am a rather good tennis player who has been in tournaments throughout the year. I enjoy life and live for today. As you said, our side bar is done…and keep smiling, my friend.
Posted by Jerry Grunor
Jerry – I suspect that there is nothing “simple” about you. Thanks for the smile today. May you continue to enjoy life every day. Faith
To the rest of you – Our sidebar is done.
Posted by Faith Fuqua-Purvis
Faith, I apologize if I offended you. But I am my own person, and I have been told that I am an arrogant bastard who wants my way all of the time. With my credentials, having homes in Hawaii, CA, NY, and Europe, with sail boats and lots to adventures, I have earned it. So let’s move on and consider what we can do to motivate others who are starting out. I have nothing but respect for all of them and only wish them well.
Posted by Jerry Grunor
No one’s life is the same as anyone else’s. We all have different personalities, different life experiences, and different challenges. That is the essence of one of the points I was trying to maks.
For me, success is not around the corner. It is here, right now, where I am in life now. I can choose to be happy or sad or angry or frustrated or any other emotion. I’ve also overcome health and physical challenges. They have lead me to where I am today.
For me, I’m trying to treat each day as an opportunity – to learn, to contribute, to connect. Not all contributions will be understood or agreed with and I won’t connect with everyone, but I’m ok with that.
My intention in posting is often to provoke thinking and analysis, rather than to state a specific position or approach. As such, one might label me as “high maintenance”.
Posted by Faith Fuqua-Purvis
@Jerry – I clearly hit a hot button. For clarity… I had started reading at the beginning of the thread and was responding to a post near the beginning. I had not realized at first (due to new LI formatting) how long the thread actually was and can understand your disconnect to my post. My comment was not intended as a personal attack in any way, shape, or form. I actually liked your earlier post. I was simply questioning whether it was actually always “arrogance.”
Here is your post to which I was responding.
“Jerry Grunor • I certainly agree with Peter. Many high maintenance people are very creative and arrogant because they are different, but can develop ideas that others do not understand. I would go through the lot and see who would benefit the company most and how much maintenance they would cause to the rest of us…then ask the rest to find jobs elsewhere. Heck, we had a few in our organization and believe it or not, they were wonderfully, creative people who lacked organizational skills. I decided to keep them on and see what would develop. Their freestyling, artistic disobedience turned a small company into a most exciting organization and we all benefitted from it. ”
What I am trying to question is the labeling.
As for myself, I personally try to change my “lens” frequently and see how things might appear from someone elses perspective. I have found it enlightening both personally and professionally. However everyone is different. It was not an attempt to impose any of my personal beliefs or preferences on you – simply share an alternative idea or thought.
Posted by Faith Fuqua-Purvis
To Faith…I have no idea what the hell you are talking about. Hey, whatever works, go with it. I have been in this business for many years; it made me very wealthy and I don’t have to hide behind a ‘different lens.’ Next week, I will be writing again for the movies and TV, and at my age, I know when success is around the corner. As my first story became an award winning movie, I am living life as well as I can. Unless you have gone through life as I have, including surviving cancer twice, I suggest you stick to your own lens.
Posted by Jerry Grunor
At one of the projects I saw really wonderfull move. Creative maintenance person was given a position of a special advisor to the plant manager with a lot of respect, a little bit higher salary, loud position name, some publicity and limited influence on major decisions in maintenance process itself.
Hope it helped.
Posted by Andriy Saltanchuk