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Dr. Earl R. Smith II
Managing Partner, The Federal Circle
DrSmith@Dr-Smith.com
Dr-Smith.com
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It’s not the compass that finds your true north – you need to find the compass that points to your true north. Short of that, every other compass will send you in the wrong direction.
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Life coaching can bring some of life’s grandest adventures. The issues at stake are often monumental and, not infrequently, the results can be life changing. In current times such coaching is frequently requested by individuals at the very crossroads of their careers. One such engagement began not long ago.
I often receive requests for initial consultations from people who have recently found their current employment untenable. Sometimes they simply have decided that a change is required. Perhaps a yearning for greener pastures or a feeling that there has to be something more to life drives them to seek me out. Maybe they have followed a path to its end – or, at least, a plateau – and find that there is less to be enthusiastic about. Life has a way of bringing us all to those times and places. Others have had their place disturbed by economic developments or decisions by their superiors. Years of work and dedication may have gone into a position that was abruptly terminated.
Initial consultations tend to run according to a pattern – and, if I am able, the person leaves with significantly more than anticipated. Let me tell you a story.
I was recently approached by an executive who had spent a great deal of time, energy and personal resources working with a company that was, by all appearances, very poorly served by its founder. There is a lot of the going around – as there ever is. As a result, he had found his way to an ending that put financial pressure on him and his family. But the biggest blow was to his sense of self-esteem and confidence. He could not believe that he had allowed himself to be put in such a position.
Prior to our session, he had sought out friends and asked their assistance in re-launching his career. The advice he received was predictable. “Pull together a resume. Highlight your accomplishments. Focus on the impacts that you were able to contribute.” He had even gone so far as to draft a new resume plus a number of collateral documents. As our meeting began, he laid out his strengths and began to describe the kind of position he was seeking – his description went into great detail. I brought his ‘elevator speech’ to an abrupt halt with a simple question.
“If you could do anything that you wished, what would give you the greatest satisfaction?”
You see, he was falling into the classical trap of seeing his next step along life’s journey as a minor variation on the ones that went before. More to the point, he was focusing on the skills that he had developed and was looking for a way to put them to work. In the past he had been an architect of sorts – designing and building solutions to hard problems. But here he was extolling his skill with a hammer.
What was missing – what made his presentation almost soulless – was a sense of joyous anticipation that would be a sign of pursuing something larger than himself. He had a compass but not a north star – not a sense of his own ‘true north’.
You see, a compass is worthless without such a thing. It is not that a compass has a purpose – it is what it proposes that is important. To quote Yogi Berra, “if you don’t know where you are going, how will you know when you get there?” the very meaning of a compass requires such a thing as true north.
Finding True North
As we talked, I kept leading the conversation back to those times he felt he had found his true north. Soon he was describing two times in his life that he had made important contributions through his understanding, insight, persistence and dedication. Neither of these was insignificant. As he talked, he began to get more and more enthusiastic – more and more excited as he described the work and the feelings that came with solving problems – meeting challenges – that others found too daunting.
As we circled back to his current situation and mindset, several things began to come clear. The first was that he was too involved in the details of getting his next job to take the time to think about my question. To say it another way, he was too busy driving to have any time to stop for gas! As a result, he was thinking tactically about a strategic decision. The second was that he had allowed the pressure he was feeling to keep him from thinking about the alternatives which he clearly had. In fact, it is fair to say that he was too much about thinking and not enough about dreaming. The third was that his recent experience had tested his self-confidence to the point that he had forgotten those past successes. Finally, he had been seeking direction from his friends and business network when the real answer to my question was within himself.
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18 Responses to “Life Coaching – The Propose of a Compass”
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Catalina, Thanks for a great comment. You seem to have grasped the vrey core of what I was getting at. Dr. Smith
Catalina Negru wrote:
Dr. Smith,
The first thing that comes into my mind when you talk about compasses are people we “listen” to. Models, idols, guru’s,mentors, several voices that we hear through our life.
Then going a step further I would think of these voices echoing in and influencing the set of core values and principles that help us navigate to our true north.The compass.
But as long as you don’t understand your true self and the inner voice is not awake, as long as you learn dance steps but do not find the joy of dancing the next world will be a lot like this one.
My best regards,
Cataline, Thanks for the comment – very good point. Please let me know what you think of the article. I do wonder about the ‘several compasses’ idea. I’m not sure that works. Most of my coaching engagements begin with clients attempting just that. One of our first tasks is to identify the one compass that points to their true north and disregard the rest at least for a while. I do agree that the internal voice is one of the most important beacons. Sometimes that voice is quiet – sometimes loud – but mostly calloused over by all the baggage that a person is carrying. I am a big fan of meditation as a way to hear that inner voice. Dr. Smith
Catalina Negru wrote:
Dr.Smith,
Triggered by your post I will read your article.
As a quick comment before doing this, I think is very important to learn to listen to yourself and make peace inside while trying several compasses. When that voice inside becomes loud and clear you will be able to recognize the one compass that points to your true north.
My best regards,
Willis Black wrote:
“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and proclaiming, Wow, what a ride!!!”
Lawrence Polsky wrote:
Check out a book by 12 time author and friend Anne Bruce, Discover True North (McGraw Hill) a 4 week approach to ingiting your passion and activating your potential
Best,
Lawrence
Iris, Thanks for the comment. One observation – your true north controls you rather than the other way around. Dr. Smith
Iris Cambilargiu wrote:
Indeed, we all should find Our True North especially now a days…This just became a real fact to me; as a rediscover my best, and comfortable qualities; without any injury to my own identity. Am looking forward to have control of my True North soon. Thank you.
Happy Holidays to you as well, Dr.
Fondly,
Iris Cambilargiu
Thanks for two great comments – good discussion. To Janna’s point, finding ‘true north’ means, by definition, giving up the fantasy that you have constructed around your self-image. I think that is the base cause of most of the fear that you refer to. I agree with Mark that organizational context can block progress towards self-understanding. I organize meditation retreats and find that – given time away from that context – people can begin to work things out. Dr. Smith
Mark D. Sauter wrote:
Earl and Janna, I agree with both of you. The essence or meaning of life is the pursuit of our true north – finding our purpose and pursuing it.
The challenge many people face is discovering their north star, while being employed within an ‘organization’; organizations that lack a clear true north. Organizations, in this case, lack a sense of meaning, as do many of the people within them.
While some people have the inner-courage to step beyond this reality, unfortunately it’s too few. Therefore, in addition to helping individuals find their purpose, we also need to help organizations do the same. In turn, helping them create a meaningful work environment that allows individuals to grow (discover a deeper purpose) within it.
Janna Rust wrote:
Great thoughts. I’m also a coach (leadership/life) and love helping people find their purpose. It is definitely life changing and it is something to be discovered. Its funny how many people are afraid of the process.
Have you ever read the book “True North”, & accompanying personal guide “Finding Your True North”, by Bill George? The personal guide is awesome as a tool for self coaching. I would describe its essence as a tool to help discover leadership purpose.
Tim, No typo – the use of the word is intentional. A compass proposes a solution but not every proposal is the right one – as we all come to know with experience. Dr. Smith
Timothy Anglim wrote:
Earl,
Great story. Possible typo (purpose vs. propose?).
Tim
Thanks for two great comments – good discussion. To Janna’s point, finding ‘true north’ means, by definition, giving up the fantasy that you have constructed around your self-image. I think that is the base cause of most of the fear that you refer to. I agree with Mark that organizational context can block progress towards self-understanding. I organize meditation retreats and find that – given time away from that context – people can begin to work things out. Dr. Smith
Mark D. Sauter wrote:
Earl and Janna, I agree with both of you. The essence or meaning of life is the pursuit of our true north – finding our purpose and pursuing it.
The challenge many people face is discovering their north star, while being employed within an ‘organization’; organizations that lack a clear true north. Organizations, in this case, lack a sense of meaning, as do many of the people within them.
While some people have the inner-courage to step beyond this reality, unfortunately it’s too few. Therefore, in addition to helping individuals find their purpose, we also need to help organizations do the same. In turn, helping them create a meaningful work environment that allows individuals to grow (discover a deeper purpose) within it.
Janna Rust wrote:
Great thoughts. I’m also a coach (leadership/life) and love helping people find their purpose. It is definitely life changing and it is something to be discovered. Its funny how many people are afraid of the process.
Have you ever read the book “True North”, & accompanying personal guide “Finding Your True North”, by Bill George? The personal guide is awesome as a tool for self coaching. I would describe its essence as a tool to help discover leadership purpose.
Deb Pontes wrote:
Great article. Thank you!
Jose Gonzalez wrote:
Hi,
Is it difficult to find the true north without leaving something behind or just to accept that there will be another cost involved, time always change the way you appretiate the factors that keep you satisfied and after a while you find out you need a new place to be at.
Working as an SDM let me see every day how an event a conversation or a need ends up taking the time of someone else real interest No matter what it is, always will affect someone´s time, day and it could could be the final drop for a new True North.
So I started to believe that the True North is not a place or a goal, but how much you are willing to accept when a conflict is a upon you and what reaction you choose to let go..
To me always is, no matter what comes I will try real hard not to loose control in the moment, but I will always hold to the line that makes me decide that is time to go for a better place..