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Over the course of my mentoring work, this is the roughest ground to cover. Getting started takes the most energy. Breaking the inertia requires the heaviest lifting. Often it takes weeks and sometimes months just to get the hand to begin to rise towards the doorknob. Those early sessions are the stormiest. There often punctuated by sharp disagreements and strong denials. It took me years to figure out why this is the case but eventually I came to understand that what is triggered is a civil war and that a civil war is the nastiest of all wars.

You see, the early sessions start a battle which is completely internal. If you are going to move forward, you have to depose that virtual reality that has been for years your representation to the world of who you are. And that avatar has no interest in ceasing to exist. You hold onto it as the one solid reality in your world; the one immutable fact of who you are. But it is unreal and you are real. The conflict is unavoidable but, in order to move forward, you must overcome your “self”.

If you are to win this civil war and claimed the authentic life that you were meant to lead, this claim that the virtual is the real must be disposed of. You do that by taking the first step and that first step involves a pivot away from the virtual and towards the real. There remains only that recurring question. How long before you do?

How long?

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© Dr Earl R Smith II

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