Nov 212008

Dr. Earl R. Smith II

Here is a page out of my life coaching engagements. One of the first places we start is the relationship that a person has with himself or herself. It is high impact work – although it sometimes produces discomfort – that may take several months to complete. Nevertheless, in the end, it is one of the most effective ways to change the direction of a person’s life.

We have all longed for a road map or outline for personal success. Many times, we give up the search – preferring to take the easy route of implementing someone else’s perception of success. It is human nature to strive for ‘normalcy’ and to fit in but to do so is to fall short of our personal growth and true potential. Here are seven tips to aid you in the process of becoming successful not only in life but in business.

Tip #1: Break the measuring device you have been using over your knee. That’s right throw away all that you are currently using to define your success. You are already acknowledging that you are not satisfied with how things are going so why keep using it? Realize that it is only the notions of others and we all know that what is good for one person does not mean it is what is right for you. Then begin to develop your own measuring device – one tailored to you and your life.

Tip #2: Stop trying to work yourself into the ground all day, take ten minutes and enjoy yourself. As the day goes on your brain gets bored and becomes counter productive. By simply taking a ten to fifteen minute break and doing something fun, you refresh yourself and your attitudes. The old adage ‘all work and no play’ applies to more than taking a vacation or a day off from work. Most very successful people find hours in each day to relax and invest in themselves. Follow their example.

Tip #3: Make a list of things you enjoy and things you long to do. Take an inventory of things that you have been putting off and make an effort to do them. This seems like dreaming but, if you create fun goals, your brain has something to look forward to and creates a habit of goal making.

Tip #4: No one likes being around a grumpy, spiteful person. This also applies to customers and fellow co-workers. Working on your interpersonal skills will go a long way to bringing about personal growth and success. Keeping a positive friendly attitude is one key to bringing in positive energy to yourself and your working environment. If you exude a friendly attitude, you will find the people around you are more willing to be punctual, productive and strive to do their best. After all, if you help them feel like they are truly appreciated then they will return the same compliment to you and to others.

Tip #5: We seem to have developed the idea that in order to get results or to motivate people we have to focus on being negative. Focusing on the negative or being overly critical is much easier it seems than bringing up positive comments. An appreciation for works that are well finished or even a simple thank you is the better way. When an associate feels noticed and appreciated, they will work harder for additional praise. Otherwise they will only produce at the level they deem gets them by with minimal negative recourse.

Tip #6: Focus on the present – do not dwell in the past or put everything on the future. Many people have an attitude that when they achieve a certain goal they will find happiness. They will continually be seeking the goal and never finding. Those that feel they were only happy ‘back in the day’ will also never be happy in their present lives. Find your balance today and enjoy life now.

Tip #7: Mute your inner self-doubt. The biggest obstacle you face is yourself. Oftentimes you are unaware of the amount of self-destructive behavior you inflict on yourself. The best way to counteract this behavior is to write down the thought each time you catch yourself mentally doubting yourself. Then, think about the comment and find at least three examples of how you are better than that – refute the statements.

Once you apply these steps, you will improve your outlook, performance, leadership styles, sales, work performance and the all-important goal of personal growth. You may also find an executive coach useful in the process as they lend an experienced hand along the way. I have seen it work again and again with my life-coaching clients. If you want to know more about how these and other trips can change your life, send me an e-mail and we will arrange a time to talk.

© Dr. Earl R. Smith II

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