Dr. Earl R. Smith II

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90 Responses to “There is pretense and then there is hubris!”
1.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:42 pm e
Steven Emrick – After cordially greeting him, thanking him for his presence, and offering him visible seating, I’d tell him, in an intentionally LOUD voice, “You’re LATE!” If that doesn’t get through to him, nothing ever will. No one is irreplacable and arrogance abounds.
2.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:43 pm e
Howard Halpern – I would be “late.” By this, I mean that the next time I had a fantasy about having any manner of contact with this person, directly or indirectly, I would be late. How late? Say, about 200 years. Pick any number that exceeds your life expectancy and add 100. That should be safe. Furthermore, it would increase your level of happiness exponentially.
3.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:44 pm e
Ray Miller – Let everyone know his intentions. The feedback will put him in HIS place.
4.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:45 pm e
Pete Berghold – How would I deal with someone like him? Make a point of being late to his affairs.
Yeah.. I’m with you. Of all the character traits you run into in this business that’s one of them that drives me to the brink. I’d have to engage in a campaign of reminding them that they put their shorts on one leg at a time like the rest of us.
Not my normal “live and let live” philosophy, but I put people like that in the realm of schoolyard bullies and I could never tolerate those either.
Oh by the way. I have a rule that if someone is more than 10 minutes late for a meeting I either leave or start the meeting without them depending on the situation.
5.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:45 pm e
Suzanne Miles – I say “You’re not worth my time” bye bye
6.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:46 pm e
Anthony Russo – If he was a customer, I would suck it up and deal with it. Hopefully by my association and seeing how I treat people, he will learn some. anyone else would hear that I think they are treating others unfairly and undeservedly so.
7.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:47 pm e
James Parsons – Hey Earl, you probably have a good sense of me from my prior answers to your question. From simply an observational view of people like that (assuming he wasn’t kidding – covering for embarrassment!) – honestly they believe that they can get away with that sort of behavior – because people do let them get away with it.
Take a dating analogy – say there is some guy, a “player,” who seems to do things that are so crass but does seem reasonably successful with women. It tells you that there are women who want that quality, or at least respond to it, and therefore encourage it. (somewhat of a social supply and demand theory, I think). When I became more outgoing, I found that many times people socially respond not from the way that a rational, very thoughtful person would think they would respond, but often from non-rational, subconscious, emotional ways. Once you come to understand the non-rational side of people, they can be more predictable.
Rather than even dwelling on them or why they are the way they are, or worrying about what that says in some bigger picture (other than in an obversational perspective without judgment), I would say you have to ask yourself: assuming they don’t change, are they important or influential enough to you that you will put up with it or have put up with it? If the answer is yes, well – that is your answer. That is how influential they are!! If the answer is no, then I would suggest being polite, short and simply focus your time and energy on those that are better – i.e. treat others better.
Someone like Paris Hilton (who may have changed some – we can hope!), or Lindsay Lohan, or the other bratting Hollywood people in that group – all get away with what they do – because we as a society indirectly express value to them for who they are (exactly as they are) even though they don’t deserve from a broader perspective. We have to ask ourselves – why do we care what the heck Paris Hilton was doing??? Really!! Much of it is superficial (which I don’t even totally understand even that), but much is that they have influence, they are “popular” and many people want to be “popular” like them, so they falsely think they want to be them. That envy of something they have – gives them the power to be that way. By definition, not logically but socially – they do have influence.
Assuming the person is not as influential as they think, or you as a person can find others who are easier to deal with to achieve similar results, then I think the best thing to do is ignore them! If you can’t opt for that now, then try to keep an eye open for opportunities in the future when you CAN ignore them.
Also, as a leader, I think it is imperative for those that have influence to try to set a better tempo. I think most people want to live happy, well adjusted lives. Many people are folllowers, though, and want a leader. If we let the Paris Hilton’s be the leaders, well – then we have only ourselves to blame. If better leaders step up and take command, leading people in a better direction – then many will want to follow that person. A better outcome occurs!
At some point, those that are egotistical may have a fall, and maybe their hubris won’t be so high that they can’t find a new beginning and new understanding.
Finally, I do think that many that succeed, though, are confident. The line between confidence and egostism might be viewed in part by history, though. For someone who is like that, but succeeds, they are confident. For those that make mistakes and fall, they were egotistical. I think it can often be hard to not push one’s own boundaries and not have the “ego” card thrown by someone (”who are you to think you can change it?”). I think a fair line between the two relates to whose benefit you are trying to achieve – if it is only for your own benefit without regard for anyone else.
8.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:47 pm e
Dom DeBellis – This comes up quite a bit in my life, it seems. Invariably, I feel disrespected by the person who is not punctual to an appointment, whether in business or in my personal dealings. I perceive such a person must believe his/her time is more valuable than mine, and I think that’s inherently rude. I don’t accept that punctuality is subject to one’s personality trait, as some have suggested in my circle of friends/family. I think it’s just ettiquette. Sadly, most people thumb their nose at such social graces, but it’s something I value in myself and those who work for me. We should endeavor to be good to one another, and that often means the simple things, like punctuality. Just treat others how you would like them to treat you.
9.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:48 pm e
Martin Thomas – I’m lucky that for most of my work I get paid by the hour. He can be as late as he likes as often as he likes. I’ll just bill him. I used to have a client just like that. He never figured out – or simply didn’t care – that he was paying me around $250/hr to drink his coffee and catch up on my e-mail.
In the event he’s not a client (he sure as hell would never be a friend) I think Eileen has it – Carly can ask for more royalties
My friend Chris used to be 45-60 minutes late for everything business & social – not hubris but crap time management. We all just lied to him about meeting times.
10.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:49 pm e
Gary Pruitt – James Penman has the right idea it depends on your current relationship with “A fellow I met”. If it was prearranged I would not meet with him again if possible and if it was by happenstance I would never initiate or accept a meeting with him, while explaining that I could not alter my schedule to accept his stated explanation that “that he was always late because it kept the people who were waiting for him in their place” and I already know mine.
11.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:49 pm e
Harrison Rose – While there is no real answer to this question as how I react is highly dependent on the circumstances, if he actually said these things then I think I would respond with, “If your time with me is so unimportant, then why have this meeting at all?” Of course, if I really were lucky to meet with him and I had the agenda then I would just agree and move on.
12.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:50 pm e
Cindie Smith – We all have opinions of the world, other people and our own self worth. The good thing is that this person is dumb enough to share his with you.
1. Avoid him. Whatever thier business talent, hire another. Good team members are people you want to work with, not people you dread
2. If you cannot avoid him, let him know that you thank him for sharing his opinions. Then, at the next “late” incident, I would rudely point out that you are offended that he considers you a little person, who’s time he does not respect.
13.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:51 pm e
Gerald Lo – In a sense, any latecomer to any meeting reflects a similar discourtesy (albeit with varying degrees of evident arrogance).
Such deliberate and calculated behavior is calculated specifically to excite a powerful response, such as the frustration you evidently experience.
To respond (even viscerally) in such a way is, in my opinion, conceding to such a person.
I feel the very best and most reciprocally frustrating response to such presumptuous manipulation is indifference. To be beyond such a person seems to me the better part of valor:
Ugarte: “You despise me, don’t you?”
Rick: “Well, if I gave you any thought, I probably would.”
I think that my job is to anticipate and neutralize such behaviors. Many people with whom I work have become accustomed to being the smartest and most powerful people in the room most of the time. I don’t feel responsible for improving their behaviors. I do feel responsible for completing the job I am assigned.
Jules Verne wrote that Phileas Fogg observed “The unforeseen does not exist.” I communicate my expectation that people are prompt and prepared for a scheduled meeting. When they are not, I communicate the consequences. When the offender is not someone who can be replaced, I remind them that I am easily replaceable.
Lionel Giles translates a great story:
Sun Tzu Wu was a native of the Ch`i State. His “Art of War” brought him to the notice of Ho Lu, King of Wu. Ho
Lu said to him: “I have carefully perused your thirteen chapters.
May I submit your theory of managing soldiers to a slight
test?”
Sun Tzu replied: “You may.”
Ho Lu asked: “May the test be applied to women?”
The answer was again in the affirmative, so arrangements
were made to bring one hundred and eighty ladies out of the Palace. Sun Tzu divided them into two companies, and placed one of the King’s
favorite concubines at the head of each. He then bade them
all take spears in their hands, and addressed them thus: “I
presume you know the difference between front and back, right
hand and left hand?”
The girls replied: “Yes.”
Sun Tzu went on: “When I say “Eyes front,” you must
look straight ahead. When I say “Left turn,” you must face
towards your left hand. When I say “Right turn,” you must
face towards your right hand. When I say “About turn,” you
must face right round towards your back.”
Again the girls assented. The words of command having
been thus explained, he set up the halberds and battle-axes
in order to begin the drill. Then, to the sound of drums, he
gave the order “Right turn.” But the girls only burst out
laughing. Sun Tzu said: “If words of command are not clear
and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, then
the general is to blame.”
So he started drilling them again, and this time gave
the order “Left turn,” whereupon the girls once more burst
into fits of laughter. Sun Tzu: “If words of command are
not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly
understood, the general is to blame. But if his orders are
clear, and the soldiers nevertheless disobey, then it is the
fault of their officers.”
So saying, he ordered the leaders of the two companies
to be beheaded. Now the king of Wu was watching the scene
from the top of a raised pavilion; and when he saw that his
favorite concubines were about to be executed, he was greatly
alarmed and hurriedly sent down the following message: “We
are now quite satisfied as to our general’s ability to handle
troops. If We are bereft of these two concubines, our meat
and drink will lose their savor. It is our wish that they
shall not be beheaded.”
Sun Tzu replied: “Having once received His Majesty’s
commission to be the general of his forces, there are certain
commands of His Majesty which, acting in that capacity, I am
unable to accept.”
14.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:51 pm e
John Bailey – If he’s a customer, remember that even jerks have money. If he is a subordinate, counsel him appropriately.
15.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:54 pm e
Aaron Erickson – Realize that this guy pays for his hubris with a premium on any deals he does. There is no getting around the asshole tax. Trust me – anyone who does in fact deal with this guy, or anyone who works for him, probably demands a premium for the effort.
Just like companies that treat their people poorly often pay through the nose in salary, turnover costs, or poor customer service because of lack of an engaged workforce, individuals who do this to their people hurt their companies.
Not being an asshole is a source of competitive advantage.
16.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:55 pm e
Bhupesh Singh – If he is some big shot drop-out, known just by his name to all users of this forum, maybe such behavior is a part of the package. Or, if he is from some industries like show-biz, such behavior might be regular much as we might not like it. Else, he is definitely not important,or, powerful if he is making it so complex.
17.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:56 pm e
Robert Geurden – Everyone needs a hobby. Some people collect postage stamps or coins, some collect enemies. Sooner or later, the latter get their just rewards – just ask Leona Helmsley, who ended up spending several years of her life as a guest of the federal government in part as a result of the people she had mistreated testifying against her at her tax evasion trial.
In the short run, do whatever you need to do to move your own career forward. In the longer run, stay as far away from such people as possible.
18.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:57 pm e
Fabrice Lorenceau – “Cemetaries are full of people that thought that they were indispendable to the world.”
19.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:58 pm e
Joseph Naughton – His personal viewpoint about whether or not his time is more valuable, or whether or not the rest of the world needs to be kept in its place is unsavory, unlikable – and irrelevant. What matters is who gains what from the meeting and how bad do they want it.
I suppose if I’m waiting on the meeting to learn from him the proven secret of spitting gold bullion and silver dollars, then I want that knowledge and I’ll disrupt my life to wait on a disrespectful jerk. On the other hand, for coworkers or others where the benefits are not quite so clear cut. I work extremely hard to start and end meetings as scheduled, and to provide timely updates when chance events interfere with previously accepted invitations.
I consider it an oft overlooked obligation of the meeting organizer to respect and protect the time of meeting participants. Regardless of who is missing or late, start meetings on time. If the missing party truly is indispensable to the activity, I will reschedule a meeting after a 5 minute grace period and let everyone go back to their other responsibilities.
If I’m dealing with a meeting organizer who cannot seem to start on time, I will consider other strategies. I may ask for the time window of the meeting where my input is required and accept only for that portion of the meeting. I may wait 5 minutes for them to arrive and start the meeting and then leave if they do not arrive.
There is no single answer, but the idea is that if I am the meeting participant, then I reserve the right to decide for myself the relative value of my time. If I am the meeting organizer, then I extend everyone the common courtesy of respecting their schedules.
The mother of the person you describe was remiss in their upbringing. I do not particularly desire to take over and finish what she did not. I will, however, take ownership of my own time management. I suppose if more people acted likewise, people like him might eventually catch on.
20.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:59 pm e
Manu Joshi – a very common interesting situation this is….first of all the person’s v important/worth it…….if possible someone can stick a poster nearby where he can get his late eyes on it which explains the meaning of time…..or a gutsy person can say on his face…”umm sir, i waited for u to discuss for that important issue but unfortunately we couldn’t”
or his superiors should be informed for the damages he can/will surely do for his company like this…..rest who’s going to counsel him for making him believe that see M.R big and late…life’s too small to trouble ppl and get away with it.
21.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:00 pm e
Topher Chung – I truly believe that what goes around comes around.
Good working relationships are constructive, productive, and robust, and are shaped by respectful and trust worthy which also lead to loyalty.
This fellow has none of these with anyone he practices this with. Abandonment is really his biggest problem. Sadly, in his world, he’ll see it as everyone else’s loss.
I certainly hope he doesn’t do this with is personal relationships.
I agree with James Penman’s comments. Life is short. Fill it with people who are going to enrich it.
22.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:01 pm e
Leo Nitzberg – I’ve never understood this outlook on life. No matter what level of success one has I can guarantee you they haven’t gotten there alone. Who’s to say someone is a little person…David Geffen used to work in a mail room and now he’s one of the most powerful people in Hollywood. Anyway, I would think that a person who feels the need to speak so highly of him/herself probably isn’t the happiest human being in the world. Either way, I really do not enjoy doing business with people so negative toward others. I have worked with personalities like this and I’m sure I will again. When very cleared boundaries are defined with someone like that the job can still get done. You may have to brake down a few barriors though.
23.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:01 pm e
Clay Johnson – Dr. Smith, this question is really about “how much guts can YOU muster in responding to a passive-aggressive environment?” If this person is your employer, you are being manipulated big-time. Get out before they succeed in convinncing you that you are dependent on them. If not, leave the meeting after they fail to arrive within 5 minutes. The answer then is of course: “Oh, the meeting happened after all? I thought it must have been called off when you didn’t show up.”. To do this, you have to have the guts to stand up for your very reasonable position.
24.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:02 pm e
Mitchell Goldstein – I would not. My time is just as valuable as anyone else’s and if someone cannot respect that, I would rather not deal with, work for, or hire that person.
25.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:03 pm e
Karl Garrison – But, in reality, if you remove the offensive language and percieved posturing, that’s often the way execs treat many meetings in ALL companies I’ve worked for – particularly status or standing meetings. Not to mention senior clients who can frequently blow you off entirely on a whim.
While the chest-thumping is all fine and dandy, more often than not, you really do HAVE to deal with these people. An agency director really does have a lot of other things on his plate and your stuff really isn’t all that important to him. Sometimes they’ll show up late or cut your time in half or reschedule while your standing right there. That’s life. Noone said I had to like them.
Executives are often tripled-booked and really don’t have time for 3 meetings at once. They often walk in 30 minutes late and stay for 15 minutes after we’ve stopped the meeting to recap and they’ve made some preliminary observation and perhaps a decision. Then off to the next meeting they’re already late for.
In both cases, we really are actually quite lucky to meet with them.
In these cases, it’s really critical to know exactly what you want from them without taking their actions personally (because they generally treat everyone like crap).
Frequently, all we want from an exec is approval to move forward, so make sure you have a clean, crisp presentation with the details to make a decision. And make sure you’ve primed him before the meeting and have support from key influencers. Then 10-15 minute major decisions can be made.
With clients, often you just want an introduction, a warm feeling and understanding that you do have areas that you can work together on. Closure in these meetings might be permission to meet with some of their subordinates to work out the details.
The real secret is not so much to take things personally or debate whether they’re more important (because they frequently are), but to understand exactly what you want from them and not waste more of their time than you already have or you won’t get anymore of it in the future. Just get over yourself and deal with what you’ve got.
26.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:04 pm e
Manuel de Joya – I would agree wholeheartedly with James Penman. There is no point in trying to change this type of behavior as this type of self-importance leaves no room for anything else. The only possible benefit you could derive from this relationship is material, so if that is the case, keep taking his money and keep him isolated so he does not contaminate the rest of the rest of your life. Having said that, folks like this tend to be high-maintenance, so remember to keep things in balance – your personal integrity and the amount of effort to required to keep him happy may outweigh the material benefits.
27.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:05 pm e
Mark W. Schumann – How would I deal with this kind of person? The kind who intentionally keeps you waiting purely as a power trip? I wouldn’t, unless I absolutely had to.
28.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:06 pm e
Jan Ridley – We’ve all seen this type; trying to “educate” them is pointless. Giving them a “taste of their own medicine” has no effect, and lowers you to their level. If you have to deal with humans of this ilk, take it in stride and deal. If you don’t have to…. then don’t! James Penman’s answer is fabulous !!!
29.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:07 pm e
John Tummolo – If not a “life or death”situation, your question is all about who holds the “POWER.” He/she who holds the power does as he/she feels and the LESS POWERFUL accomodate the POWER to the best of their willingness and/or ability. If the LESS POWERFUL don’t agree with this environment they have the POWER to quit. Personally, IF the POWER wants to pay me for waiting in a conference room I’ll make use of the idle time to reflect and organize my thoughts.
If this person does not hold the POWER (assuming you do) I’d instruct them to arrive on time usually within a five minute variance. A twenty minute wait is far too long without “being stuck in traffic from the airport”.
30.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:08 pm e
Mark Jeyasingh – Earl, clearly this is about demonstrated power.
From your explanation I’m not sure if you are projecting his answer to mean he is “always late”; or that he is “always late when he feels/knows that he is in the power seat”.
Power demonstration is a technique used in certain selective situations in turnaround (especially in conflict management), and it can have overall benefit on organisational/individual performance. It is similar to keeping someone waiting outside your office to make a point.
Ok it sounds childish if you aren’t inclined that way, but I’m not going to try and convince anybody.
It would be stupid, actually suicidal, to use it universally in business, as it has exactly the opposite effect when coming from a weak position (where you would be even more on the back foot, if not already shot down).
So …. if some dumbo is doing just that and happily spiting all and sundry, then simply enjoy the show as you watch them crash & burn.
On the other hand if they appear to be remotely intelligent (and wouldn’t keep their boss waiting for example), then perhaps they are unconsciously associating you with an audience that they would consider to be weaker than them. That begs the question, what does that mean for your transaction with them?
31.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:08 pm e
Kevin Chapman – That’s when you setup a meeting and forget to tell them that a person more important than them will be in attendance and watch them squirm to explain their lateness.
32.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:09 pm e
Jenna Papakalos – have a very “no fear” approach to situations. I just tell the peron, professionally of course, that I’m not really big on being kept waiting.
If it’s a chronic or intended behavior, I take a more creative stance. I gather facts, like how much my time costs and who ever else is involved (ball parks mostly since I don’t ask people how much they make). I calculate the time wasted and apply it to the bottom line. Then I share the information to the offender demonstrating how the behavior affects the business’s efficiency and productivity, dollar wise.
That usually gets a person’s attention quick, fast and in a hurry.
33.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:10 pm e
Eileen Bonfiglio – They absolutely crack me up! I usually start out silently humming the Carly Simon favorite “You’re so vain”.
34.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:11 pm e
Dave Clare – My initial reaction is to take a pin and pop their bubble. However that only takes me down to their level. The bigger person in me says to follow my heart and seek to understand this type of behaviour first. So ultimately I would initially feel sorry for them for they walk through life with a low self-esteem. Allow me to explain my opinion…
I truly believe that those who walk around belittling others to be-big themselves are the ones who are truly little (their own estimated value of self) although they put on a show of superiority.
I know also that life has a way of balancing out this stuff and with karma he will get as good as he gives. Don’t tell me how valuable you are…show me.
Or you could just laugh and shake your head and walk away as I would choose not to socialise or do business with that type of character.
I always strive to be bigger than myself, but not bettter than someone else.
I answered this question because I thought you were worth it.
35.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:11 pm e
Thomas Dodds – Suggest he read:
Maxwell, John: 25 Ways to Win with People: How to Make Others Feel Like a Million Bucks
Apart from that – there’s not much you can do WITH them – you might have to separate FROM them or them from you. That person has to want to change – in fact there has to be enough pain to change – as long as people bow to his view of them – he’ll not change.
36.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:12 pm e
Olga Kellen – I would never deal with him anymore…
37.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:12 pm e
James Penman – If this person is your boss, find a new boss.
If this person is your subordinate, then introduce this individual to new employment opportunites.
If this person is your vendor, then find a better vendor.
If this person is your peer of equal merit, then inform that person prior that you leave after waiting 5 minutes.
If this person is your customer, then anticipate this practice and building into your schedule.
If this person is your friend, see answer above for peer.
If this person is your spouse, you have choosen unwisely.
if this person does not meet any of the above criteria, then I would do my best to avoid this person, for such a person is not likely to enrich your life.
38.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:13 pm e
Alice de Sturler – Arrogance makes people easy to manipulate, doesn’t it? As an example: I’d cheerfully provide anyone behaving as you describe with meeting times a half-hour ahead of the rest of the group, I’d meet any complaints with self-deprecation and flattery (”I screwed up, giving you the wrong time, and I’m really sorry. Not everyone is a genius like you….) and when trying to convince Mr. Hubris to adopt a specific path, I’d be sure to frame it in a way that appeals to their vanity. (”I don’t know anyone else who can do this. You’re the only one…”)
It’s not always easy (I have an ego of my own) but – to date – I’ve found this to be a productive way of dealing with divas.
39.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:14 pm e
Alice de Sturler – I usually explain that I wait once but if it happens again, I’ll leave. I do not do well with arrogant people. My time is as valuable as yours so your chap is by definition wrong in my book. If he is a useful contact you might want to let him know that you do not appreciate his attitude. If he can be replaced, do it! This attitude towards you will also be his attitude towards coworkers, clients, etc.
40.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:15 pm e
Dave Dees – Of course I would deal with a guy like that! Just because that’s his opinion of himself doesn’t mean that I have to believe it. The real issue is whether or not the person can add value (and in his case, unique value).
I also wouldn’t particularly care whether he thought I was one of the “little people”. He would quickly learn to break me out from that crowd.
41.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:15 pm e
Barney Trader – Frankly I wouldn’t “deal” with a person like this at all. I have met many famous and important people, and with a very few exceptions, they have all been about a 180 from this guy. I might even have the balls to say, “Roger Penske, Truett Cathy and Arthur Blank, treat everyone like they are important, and they seem to have done well for themselves. Perhaps you should give it a try?”
42.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:16 pm e
Casey Range Hamar – He sounds like a real charmer. Mature, worldly, and oh so suave. I don’t know about all the other women out there, but my 1st question: Is he single? 2nd question: Would he like his own reality TV show?
43.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:17 pm e
Frank Roderkerk – These people are not worth the air we breathe!!
44.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:18 pm e
Tim Edgren – When I run into a chronic late-attender, I take one of three paths, depending on my assessment of their character:
1) I take them aside and ask them to value my time. If I’m one of the ‘little people’ who doesn’t matter, I’d like to hear it to my face, rather than through passive-aggressive sublety. Most people will correct their behavior once they are aware of it and know that someone is watching.
2) If # 1 fails, I skip their meetings altogether. As a developer, I don’t like to waste my time either … and most meetings are a waste of everyone’s time. When challenged for my absence, I discuss (at length) the critical problem that demanded my attention until the challenger (usually not technically-minded) glazes over and goes away.
3) If I can’t do #2, I start the meeting without them, if I can. This infuriates control freaks, when you slap together an agenda and are halfway through it … they look like fools when they make everyone start over, which can be a lot of fun to watch.
45.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:19 pm e
Robert Fornal – Move on … we are all made equal and the belief that we are not is simply covering for perceived inadequacies. This behavior is often seen in small people. When people learn the value that others bring to the table, then they are able to grow and learn …
46.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:19 pm e
Martha Runnette – You mean, other than tell him to go back to the 1980s, where he’d be more comfortable?
You can’t change people. All you can do it offer opportunities for them to see themselves in the mirror and get the impact of their actions on other people. Then they have the choice to alter their behavior (or not).
It would depend on the situation and the roles being played, I think. If the partnership or work relationship was going to be long-term, I might even construct a scenario where a meeting starts in one place (for maybe 5-10 minutes) and then moves to another place, leaving a note behind for any latecomers that the meeting has moved and the team will update them later with what happened. Then I’d deal with the consequences that might occur as a result (people being upset, wanting to retaliate or punish someone, etc.). Today’s workplace (and today’s world) has very little room for people who believe they are worth more than others.
If a team is going to work with someone like that for a long time, it’s up to the team to tolerate it — or not. When the impact of the behavior exceeds the team’s level of tolerance, they’ll say something.
47.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:20 pm e
Una Marvet – I would almost guarantee this person is late by a set amount of time. Figure out what that interval is, and schedule meetings accordingly.
48.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:21 pm e
Sheilah Etheridge – Yes these folks can make you want to bring them down a notch or two. Self importance is a common trait among those that feel the need to toot their own horn. Obviously, they need to toot their own horn because no one else will. Sad, they never acknowledge that.
I live by a firm rule, treat others as they treat me (or as I see them treat others in some cases). I don’t care if you are penniless or Bill gates, you will never get more respect from me than you have earned.
When it comes to these egotist I may privately explain that while they feel they are more important than others they are the only ones who feel that way and then offer proof. More often than not if they have demeaned someone publicly, I will give it back on that persons behalf. There is nothing as humbling for these people as calling them out when they cannot defend their position.
I have often found that these people are cowards deep down. This is their way of compensating for their own short comings. The problem is, that over time they actually begin to believe their own hype.
A good reality check is healthy for everyone.
49.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:21 pm e
Tomme Stevenson – Without knowing the fellow it’s hard to say what I think. If he is a Donald Trump kind of gut, then he lives in his own world and nothing will become of it.. The people who don’t absolutely need him, won’t put up with him and the others have to. On the other hand if he is a typical working stiff (CEO on down) then he’s got a problem. He has such an inflated opinion of himself that any mistake will be just what others are looking for to bring him down a notch. Tough way to live with everyone gunning for you.
50.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:23 pm e
Mike Freedman – Do any of us have time do deal with such game-playing jerks? I’d just say you’re too busy next time he calls. My late father always said, “it’s nice to be important but it’s more important to be nice.”
51.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:23 pm e
Ed Hawco – A pie in the face.
52.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:25 pm e
Drago Pejic – If you have any illusion that you can do something with such person wait until you get married. And, believe it or not, god Hubris has a secret list of ones that never lay a hand on them.
53.
August 25th, 2007 at 3:05 pm e
Brian Etheridge – I echo some of the sentiments expressed below.
If I called the meeting, I start on time, regardless of who has arrived. We need to value the time of the other attendees.
If the person in question called the meeting, I give them five minutes and then leave – including if it is my boss. If they ask me about it, I say that because they were late, I assumed they got called to another meeting and planned to reschedule.
I don’t confront them unless they are my employee. It isn’t my job to mentor everyone, just those that report to me
54.
August 25th, 2007 at 3:07 pm e
Yvonne Michele Anderson – Depends on why the person is late.
The motivation as expressed above in your question definitely expresses hubris.
I know, however, after having been discriminated against by a former employer, I was, for a very long time, chronically late. I later figured out that this was a sign of depression.
After having left a job where I gave 110% (was often at work very early, and stayed at work until all hours of the night to get the job done), but was then treated very poorly by certain colleauges and superiors, undervalued and given work below my skill level…subconsicously, I became “afraid” of professional life, and became a procrastinator after leaving what I considered to be a very unhealthy work experience.
Took me a some talking with friends and mentors, and some time just to get out of this mode, and to come back to my old self.
Motivation and intent are important to consider, before just assuming that someone is being arrogant…
If you value that person or the work that you are doing with that person, then just schedule meetings beforehand, knowing that they will be late a certain amount of time, and seek to learn more about what is happening with them –
If you find their work too unprofessional, then kindly let them go, and move on…
Now I have changed my life, changed my priorities – and am concentrating on what is truly important to me…my soul, and my health…
My work is important, but God, friends, and family are even more…I should not even be working now, but for the past two weeks, I have had to handle exceptional situations – and this, too, will pass…
55.
August 25th, 2007 at 3:08 pm e
Dom DeBellis – More to the point of your experience with the gentleman who believes the “little” people are lucky to have any of his time:
There are too many people like this, and I don’t know why everyone else rewards them for their behavior. I’m convinced that one only exhibits the behavior that is reinforced by the consequences of that behavior. In other words, if you don’t get a payoff for your actions or speech, you are not likely to repeat said actions or speech. You can train anyone, and your gentleman knows this because he is using it against you. Fortunately, you can train him just as easily. This is the foundation of behavior modification; it works with dogs and cats, children, and adults alike.
Allow me to suggest how you might apply this to the fellow you met with. If a person is late up to 15 minutes, when they arrive, remind them that your time is valuable and that you have another appointment after this one, so his/her lateness has resulted in this meeting being shortened. If a person is more than 15 minutes late, simply leave and, once you reach your office, compose a short email to the offender, such as: “Dear (name), I was at the appointed place at the appointed time and was surprised that you did not turn up. I hope that nothing is amiss and that you are all right. If you want to reschedule, feel free to contact me at (number) or respond to this message by email. Regards, (your name).”
Here’s an example from my family. We have several family members who have formed their own households, with children. This makes getting together as a larger family tribe much more complicated. Punctuality helps things considerably, because we can coordinate around the meals and activities that inevitably coincide with such events. We had an uncle who would show up with his wife and two children late by about one hour, habitually. This was regardless of which family member was hosting the given affair. The common response to this uncle was to simply allow for his rudeness. Eventually, we came to communicate a different event start time to the uncle to allow for what we knew would be his habitual lateness. We did this because we believed it would be the best way to accommodate it peacefully. Unfortunately, it only worsened the resentment of the rest of the family toward the uncle and even resulted in more family members showing up late. When I came of age and began hosting such events, I chose to begin my events on time and refused to accommodate the rude behavior. We would sit down to meals on time, pose for family photos on time, etc. Eventually the late family members got the message because I had allowed them to reap the consequences for their actions. Imagine that!
There is no need to shame people like this, or resort to name-calling such as this gentleman has done. Simply allow them to experience the consequence. Do it long enough, and you’ll reinforce the desired behavior. Consistency is the key.
56.
August 25th, 2007 at 3:09 pm e
John Dierckx – After such an answer, I’d smile, tell him (as outlined before )that I think I know enough and leave it at that. Congratulate such a person that he now can be in time for his next appointment.
This has nothing to do with value of time but with personal human growth. Simple issue: in terms of business and financials he might be ahead (hence calculating in terms of value of time) as a human such person is still so immature that you would not wanna be involved with him or her anyway. Ultimately these people are may be great for short terms success but heyare smply not ready for the big world out there as a human.
Invte him or her to come back when he /she has grown up.
Quite honestly, is buying in such arguments not selling yourself? All of those that still think in terms of little people (in financial terms) have not yet the maturity to see that there’s more in life than a bank account. They pose a risk in terms of loyalty and (inter)human skills and reputation and are just not ready mentally and spiritually for the big world yet. They’ll screw themselves up at one point.
So, thank them for their time, advise them you think you know enough, and congratulate them for being in time for the next little person. Invite them to come back when they have matured, or for advise to think longer term give them a copy of the Seven Habits or something similar, and wish them luck for the future.
57.
August 25th, 2007 at 3:09 pm e
David D. “Griff” Griffith – The fox kills the rabbit and it is ghastly to behold.
However, there is no guilt and there is no innocence. There is only a lesson in how we may ourselves “choose” to treat each other or allow ourselves to be treated.
How would you deal with this kind of person?
Unless there was some overriding benefit, as little as possible, if even at all.
58.
August 25th, 2007 at 3:10 pm e
Jennifer McFarland – I agree with what I’ve been reading in prior posts. The trait you describe shows someone with low self esteem who thinks that all they have to offer to the world is their intelligence. They feel like nobody likes them otherwise and get some grand ideas that the more knowledge they have, the better they are in the eyes of others, as if good will were a commodity you could just outsmart someone to get.
Life isn’t like that and the person hiding behind the mask needs to be confronted and humbled so they can learn to go with the flow. Maybe then, they’ll get the respect they want so badly because they relearned how to approach and communicate with people. How embarrassing to be the last to know that you look like a complete fool to everyone and are fooling only yourself!
59.
August 25th, 2007 at 3:10 pm e
Lubna Kably – I don’t think we can change people, if they don’t want to be changed. Experience is a great teacher, perhaps one day someone will classify this person in the category of “little people” and he will learn.
I tend to feel, the more imporant a person is, the more humble he is. At least this has been my experience. True leaders are humble
60.
August 25th, 2007 at 3:11 pm e
Mykel de Willigen – Even though I tend to be latish also (usually not more then 15 min, doesn’t make it right though)
However, there IS an advantage in being late, especially if your last one to arrive, it’ll ensure you never have to wait…….;-)
The motivation for his position is totally narcistic though, I don’t think you’re gonna be able to change him, the only thing you could hope to achieve is re-crete some awareness of the potential consequences of being late, not so much by talking, but more though experience.
Let him arrive at a “deserted” location, then he might realize people might just stick to their planning, instead of waiting in anticipation for his royal greatness to arrive, just like an airplane will take off regardless what you think it should (unless it’s your own ).
It’ll make him mad, cause it’ll show him some people’s world actually DON”T revolve around him, but there’s not so much he can say, he was late………
61.
August 25th, 2007 at 3:11 pm e
Jodi Blackley – How do I deal with this type of person? I don’t. Their narcissistic ego is a defense and unless they are my client, it’s not my place to knock down this wall.
However, if I must interact with such a person, I minimize my interaction with this type of person and do not live my life around their schedule. I hold rigid boundaries when I do have to interact with them to demonstrate their needs aren’t mine and their expectations of me do not meet mine. They will probably have some type of outburst towards me for not placating to their needs, but upholding boundaries models good ego strength and I don’t walk away with resentment towards myself nor the other person.
62.
August 25th, 2007 at 3:12 pm e
Terri L Maurer – We’re not talking about Leona Helmsley are we? I heard she passed away. Sounds like the same ‘holier than thou’ mentality. Totally hopeless person, write them off.
63.
August 25th, 2007 at 3:13 pm e
Wei Luo – There is an old saying in Chinese…
“large forest we will see all kinds of birds.” Don’t be surprised.
Unfortunately, there isn’t an effective way to deal with this kind of person as another story reminds me: “if you want to teach a pig to learn how to read, it won’t work, and you will annoy it.”
I will simply ignore him. I share your pain.
64.
August 26th, 2007 at 11:25 am e
John James O’Brien – How would I deal with him? Depends entirely on the role and relationship. Is he a client needing my help? Charge him my top rates (such an important guy would not want to cheap out, right?) as we begin the very long process of helping him understand that he is his own biggest obstacle and that success in hand is not necessarily and indicator of success that might have been.
65.
August 26th, 2007 at 11:27 am e
Caroline Stockmann – If at all possible, I would not deal with them, at all, ever again. But equally, not get stressed about it (why should such a person affect your life? – ‘water off a duck’s back’ is what I would recommend). On the other hand, I am so stunned anyone could actually admit they think like this, and say such things, I can understand your frustration. This person clearly has invented a fantasy world for himself, probably as a result of huge insecurity…If it really keeps bothering you, loud music and punching cushions is one tip I’ve heard of, to get rid of the anger and ensure you do not transfer it to anyone else!
66.
August 26th, 2007 at 11:29 am e
Sastry Vadlamani – I am amazed to see soo many answers. I am sure you too are.
Coming back to your question, isnt it soo relative? Dont you think this evaluation in most cases comes out of misunderstanding, or in alternative words, miguided perception?
For example, A may perceive a person B as someone with lot of pretense and hubris. But I may perceive him (B) or her as perfect. May be A and B could not understand each other and there is this kind of mistrust that is giving rise to these feelings.
Coming back to a society level, out of 100, 98 percent may think the person has pretense, hubris whatsoever. His/her parents might consider him/her as perfect.
So who is right? who is wrong? Majority?
Majority is not always correct we know.
67.
August 26th, 2007 at 11:29 am e
Gloria Viseras – I think this is really more complicated that it initially looks like.
I know most people’s first impulse would be “not to deal with him anymore…” “Give him/her a taste of his/her own medicine” etc … but it is not so simple.
What if this person is the one the pays your salary? What if this person is a very important person? You cannot ask Bill Gates in a meeting to explain why he is late! It would depend on many different factors. Do I have to put up with him on my day-to-day life? Is this a one-time thing? Is it really worth confronting him?
I think that, as with everything in life, it is a matter of choice, YOUR choice. Would it work to your advantage maintaining the relationship with this person even if he is a disrespectful jerk? Does it really matter to you whether he thinks you are a “little person” or “a big person”?
If the relationship with him brings your to your objectives, if it benefits you … then what do you care what he thinks?
So what I would do, I think, is to see pros and cons and choose knowing the consequences of my choice. I used to have a boss who would put me down in meetings telling me things like “hey “girly”, I think that …” He did this all the time and I decided I was not going to put up with it, even if it cost me my job. So I thought: Either he starts respecting me or he fires me. The next time he called me “girly” I very respectfully told him (in front of everybody), “I am not a “girly”. Please do not call me that anymore.” And he did not. I not only kept my job, I was promoted shortly after.
As I said: “A matter of choice”.
68.
August 26th, 2007 at 11:30 am e
Neil Caruana – It happens to all of us that we are late sometimes. When I see this kind of attitude though, I usually fuel it as much as possible to get the person talking. I make him feel important and look very interested in his life, career and job. I am a keen listener and I always start the day with the thought that there is far more than I do not know than what I know. So it is amazing how much is learned in these people, especially if you are talking with a potential client in a new market segment.
69.
August 26th, 2007 at 11:31 am e
Joe Frankie III – He will have lost my respect and consideration. It is time to find another person to devote my time and effort. Unfortunately, such an immature attitude cannot be changed. I suggest a couple of patrols with some of my friends downrange in Bagdad. He may have the opportunity to comtemplate his imporatance with his buddies around him.
Earl, in summary, you come into this world buck naked and you leave it just about the same. The only thing you really leave is your reputation and its affect on your family name. It appears he wasted some good time.
70.
August 26th, 2007 at 11:33 am e
Yvonne Michele AndersonDepends on why the person is late.
The motivation as expressed above in your question definitely expresses hubris.
I know, however, after having been discriminated against by a former employer, I was, for a very long time, chronically late. I later figured out that this was a sign of depression.
After having left a job where I gave 110% (was often at work very early, and stayed at work until all hours of the night to get the job done), but was then treated very poorly by certain colleauges and superiors, undervalued and given work below my skill level…subconsicously, I became “afraid” of professional life, and became a procrastinator after leaving what I considered to be a very unhealthy work experience.
Took me a some talking with friends and mentors, and some time just to get out of this mode, and to come back to my old self.
Motivation and intent are important to consider, before just assuming that someone is being arrogant…
If you value that person or the work that you are doing with that person, then just schedule meetings beforehand, knowing that they will be late a certain amount of time, and seek to learn more about what is happening with them –
If you find their work too unprofessional, then kindly let them go, and move on…
Now I have changed my life, changed my priorities – and am concentrating on what is truly important to me…my soul, and my health…
My work is important, but God, friends, and family are even more…I should not even be working now, but for the past two weeks, I have had to handle exceptional situations – and this, too, will pass…
I am curious to know, Dr; Smith, how the social position of the person concerned determines whether or not one interprets their action as “hubris”, or not.
Unfortunately, I have found that similar actions are not always interpreted similarly…
A 35-year old male partner in a law firm might demonstrate the typs of behaviour that you described above, and still be viewed as a “rainmaker” if he brings in the money.
A 35-year old female partner demonstrating this same behaviour might not be tolerated, and might be interpreted as extremely arrogant.
A young male associate burning the midnight oil is viewed as a go-getter.
A young female associate doing the same might ultimately be viewed as “overproductive” (believe me, I have heard this…)
At least, this is what I have observed (unfortunately).
There was an associate in my firm who yelled at a client in his former firm, but ultimately became a partner…
Unfortunately, that type of behaviour would have easily ended my legal career…
The world is not just or fair, although we strive for justice…
And if you are really perceived as a little person on the totem pole, you might even get “taught a lesson” (with the full support of your former superiors) by the paralegal who used to treat you like crap behind closed doors…
I speak from experience. One person’s “hubris” is another person’s “privilege”.
Abused “privilege” is rarely acknowledged in the workplace…people in positions of power do not have to acknowledge the advantages which they obtain from the position which they hold –
I guess this is another area in which business could learn from religion…
Crimson and blonde are Harvard colors…an esteemed institution, who also has great potential to abuse privilege, as any institution holding tremedous powers have the power to do -
71.
August 26th, 2007 at 11:35 am e
T.J. VanKleef – First, smile and know that you can laugh about all of this later.
Know also that most contractor / consultants who charge on a time and materials basis will actually be getting paid to sit and wait for Mr. Hubris – so he’s actually made an economic decision to pay you for your time.
If he’s a contractor / consultant FOR you – thank him for his time and explain you’ll be going with another firm that values integrity and checks it’s ego at the door.
Bottom line? YOU have to make a vlaue / economic decision about YOUR time and determine if this – person – is worth the investment.
72.
August 26th, 2007 at 11:36 am e
Janet Schijns – I’d actually LEAVE every meeting with him (assuming he is not your boss or largest client because then I’d just have to find a new job) as early as he was late.
I’d explain that we often schedule meetings to be longer than they need to be because many people who feel self important actually waste a lot of time being late, pontificating and/or just not getting down to work and so I’ve found that I can make the meeting most effective by putting everyone under the time pressure of finishing 15 minutes ahead of schedule.
Failing that I’d
1. Invite his boss
2. Send him an invoice for my time
3. Bar admittance to meetings for folks that are late (this I do as a common practice)
73.
August 26th, 2007 at 11:37 am e
David Marcotte -If you had a conversation this in your face, then the fact it did not come to violence is a testament your maturity. I sadly would lack same.
I have had a number of people like this to deal with and have found having the meeting on time and letting it go forward. The person in question comes in late invariably wants to re-set the start to their entrance … you then don’t let them either speaking over top of them as they try or calling on someone else repeatedly to carry on the conversation.
The good part is these people usually leave after 5 – 10 minutes anyway.
Still prefer a whack upside the head but you’re a mature guy.
74.
August 26th, 2007 at 11:37 am e
Brad Morrison – I would try to use humor. It is disarming in the face of belligerence. I would find a joke that communicates that if only deals with people he thinks are beneath there is only one of two realities in that scenario he is presenting:
1. He is always a big fish in very, very small pond
2. He is only valuable to the microscopic people of the ocean.
NOBODY is that important everywhere. I would again through humor, try to disarm him with his fatal flaw in analysis of human importance and interaction.
75.
August 26th, 2007 at 10:37 pm e
Lalita Amos – Warren Buffet in a little booklet he made for his other CEO friends, stated that he doesn’t do business with schmucks. He recounted a story about a business lunch where his other party was an ass to the waiter. He cancelled the deal.
You don’t have to be a millionaire to insist on courtesy. Besides, didn’t they just bury Leona Helmsley the New York real estate mogul who said that “paying taxes was for little people.” She went to jail and now those little people may be dancing on her grave.
Dump the chump. If he doesn’t get that there’s a war for talent and sees fit to squander his most precious business asset (his people), no telling what other assets he’s foolishly squandering.
76.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:54 pm e
Tony Colafrancesco – Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”
My asnwer is a little different than others. If he were late for a meeting with others that I had set up, it would damage my credibility in the end, so I would put my hand on his shoulder and pretend to start saying something and then smash two of the nerves near the neck. This would cause him to be immobilized until I removed the pressure, during which time I would lean close to his ear and tell him very calmly that if he is ever intentionally late again, it will be a very, very unhappy day for him, and explain to him that I am personally insulted by his attitute, and to never do this again. I would then ask him if he understands to make sure that no further clarification is needed, and then release him, and continue on to the meeting and forget about the whole incident.
77.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:56 pm e
Erika Muller – I have always felt that a key facet of anyone’s personality is how they deal with others, particularly those in positions of service: waiters, gardeners, photocopy staff, secretarial help, etc. Anyone who sees others as “little people” would not see much of me in any context.
This guy’s ego would crowd everyone out of the room. I don’t care how much of an expert he is in his field: it wouldn’t be worth it to have to deal with him.
I was a little surprised to see that some here seem to think that his is a behavior to emulate or admire. But then, perhaps I am not so surprised at all.
78.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:57 pm e
David Atkinson – I’ve managed many very talented people in my career at JPL, and luckily only a very few had these characteristics (as did some no-so-talented ones, who are easily dealt with – show them the door). You didn’t mention your relationship to such a person – boss, employee, acquaintance, potential business partner. That relationship will have a significant role in deciding how you deal with him. Potential business partner? Maybe you should deal with another person at the company. Your boss? Read “How to Work for a Jerk”. Talented employee? I’ve had success with the following: 1) Although it might be painful to lose the talent, remember no one is irreplaceable; even if they are, it may be a sacrifice worth making: tell him so, in private of course. 2) Explain to the person that you can make him more effective if he has an associate (with thick skin) who can be the primary contact for him with the team – this maximizes his individual “valuable” time (hard to contradict this argument!) 3) Proceed in meetings without him so it is clear that he is late when he arrives, and don’t take time to explain what he missed – tell him he can catch up with you or someone else later (even if nothing of substance happens before he arrives). The key is to identify and eliminate the situational “enablers” for this behavior. Behavior is easy to change; personality is impossible to change. Even simple rewards, such as paying attention when he is speaking (vs. looking off in the distance, interrupting, etc.) can be strongly rewarding for this type of personality – the key is to reward when he is behaving the way you want.
79.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:57 pm e
Dale Furtwengler -I’m assuming that you have to “deal with” this type of person, otherwise, the simple answer is “don’t. In my program, 7 Steps to Becoming Invaluable, I tell people to look for their contribution to the problem. If you deal with someone who mistreats you, you encourage their behavior.
In every human interaction one person is training another how to behave. If you tolerate disrespectful behavior, you encourage it.
Now if you’re in a situation in which this person is your boss and you don’t have a short-term alternative to dealing with him/her (in the long-run you can change jobs), then the best you can do is present to him/her observations of how this behavior has cost him/her their superior’s ear, their employees’ commitment/loyalty. When you make your presentation, do so without judgment. Simply state your observations as facts and let the person do with them as he/she wishes.
80.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:58 pm e
Shefali Borge – Unfortunately such people do exist in our Society, their mentality is quite uncanny. However what I would suggest is we need to ignore such people, as the saying goes Ignorance is BLISS. I so truly believe this, infact sometimes I feeling like give such people a piece of my mind, but again I feel they are fools why make a fool of myself by indulging in such silly conversations with unimportant people. Also I feel some people end up doing this to gain attention, cause once you are asked to wait for this unimportant person to such an extent, you would for sure want to know who the hell this person is.
People, who don’t respect others time, should actually be given a dose of their own medicine. If such people are close friends then I am sure a lesson or two could be taught by playing a prank on them, but if they are strangers…move on and ignore them completely. They are just not worth our PRECIOUS time for sure.
81.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:59 pm e
Lalita Amos – I’ve met managerial monstrosities. They’re no picnic and need help to understand that their adopted personae leaves them more ineffective than they can fathom. They seem to pick up this behavior from modeling others they think have attained the kind of success they’d like for themselves.
Besides, he might be running late because he’s hopelessly disorganized, with poor time and priority management skills.
82.
August 27th, 2007 at 1:17 pm e
Anupam “Pom” Malhotra – I’m sure it takes all types to make this world what it is and sometimes you just have to roll your eyes and move on!
83.
August 28th, 2007 at 10:01 am e
Dave Elchoness – I wouldnt deal with him twice. If I absolutely had to, I would be extra late to every single meeting with him and if he complained, I would return to the conversation you describe above and inform him that I considered my time to be more valuable than his. Two wrongs, don’t make a right, but sometimes they make you feel better.
84.
August 28th, 2007 at 4:15 pm e
Nick Hawley – That’s reminds me of that famous (alledged) Leona Helms quotes “Only the little people pay taxes.” While it may be true that a manager or top executive’s earning when computed against a