Earl R. Smith II, PhD
DrSmith@Dr-Smith.com
Dr-Smith.com

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Many people who come to me for mentoring support are certain of one thing - that they are facing a problem which is unique to them. To their relief, they discover that the situation they find themselves in - the challenges that they are facing - the decisions that they have to make - and the options that are open to them are shared by many of their fellow travelers. One of their first lessons is that 'they are not alone'.

Life has a way of unfolding in segments or chapters. You turn the page and encounter an entirely new direction - or at least the possibility of a new direction. Maybe you turn that page because you’ve gotten tired of reading the old chapter. Maybe something happened that forced you to turn it - the loss of a job, the death of a loved one or a personal health issue. But you turn the page. Or at least you begin to understand that you must.

But life is more complicated than that. Your choice is not to open one chapter but to choose from a number of them. And that’s when moving forward can become so difficult.

In some ways, you like the old chapter. It’s a source of comfort. You know the characters and the ground rules. It’s easy reading because it covers ground that you know well. But then there is this itch in a place that’s hard to reach. Some part of you doesn’t like the complacency and wonders if there is more out there - more that you can do with your life. And then the battle commences - a battle between complacency and the worry that you will spend your life and not have experiences that will add to it.

Now, if that is not complicated enough, concerns about your life can be divided roughly into two broad groups. The first is your becoming the best you that you can become. In the East, this is the realm of Buddhism. In the West, religion attempts to fill that need. And then there is the value of you as a member of society. Confucius, for instance, focused heavily on that question. In the West, I suppose that capitalism is the great determinant. But the point is that your life is following two paths and the question of new directions involves both.

Years of mentoring has taught me that, when new directions are contemplated, it is the first that should be focused on initially. Buddhism focuses on deepening self-understanding. The underlying wisdom is that, the better you understand yourself, the more likely you are to make solid decisions about what to do with your life.

The risk of starting with paragraph two - focusing on activities which determine your value to society - is that you end up doing mostly minor variations of what you have done in the past. Without the illumination of self-discovery, lives can be spent working out the vision of other people - our parents, teachers or an author that we were attracted to when we were young. Without deeper self-realization, lives can be spent inauthentically. The rising urge to find a new direction opens the possibility of living a more authentic life.

Advice

Someone dancing inside us
   has learned only a few steps:
the "Do-Your-Work" in 4/4 time,
    the "What-Do-You-Expect" Waltz.
He hasn't noticed yet the woman
    standing away from the lamp.
the one with black eyes
    who knows the rumba.
and strange steps in jumpy rhythms
    from the mountains of Bulgaria.
If they dance together,
    something unexpected will happen;
if they don't, the next world
    will be a lot like this one.

Bill Holm

© Earl R. Smith II, PhD

I look back on the first three months of my work with Dr. Smith with wonder. My journal reflects a journey of self-discovery so vast that I hardly recognize the person who wrote the first entries. It's been a year now and I am happier now than I have ever been.

PJ, Mentoring Client

 
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"It's the most amazing experience I have ever had. I needed to find a new path. A friend recommended Dr. Smith. What was most amazing was the wisdom and perception that he brought. New vistas have opened up and, as a result, a new chapter in my life. There's no way that I could put a value on what he has contributed to my life."

Mentoring Client, CEO and Serial Entrepreneur

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"Chief - that's how Dr.Smith was introduced to me and, based on our work together, I have come to understand why - helped me focus on the possibilities that I had been missing in my life. He guided through developing a new vision for my life. My life is richer because of working with him."

Mentoring Client

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"Earl is a wise mentor with lots of experience. He has a great way of explaining things and getting you to look at them from another perspective. Dr. Smith is a tough mentor, but, if you can learn just some of what he knows, your life will change forever."

Mentoring Client, Deloitte

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“Dr. Smith is a very different kind of mentor. If you’re looking for a warm and fuzzy adviser, this is the wrong guy for you. But if you are dedicated to change and want to be challenged by a very experienced mentor Earl may be just what you are looking for.”

CEO of Croix Connect and Host of ABC Radio’s ‘Taking Care of Business’

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“Dr. Smith's mentorship has been of great value and inspiration to my personal and professional development. I felt the need to take a new direction. He helped me sort out the possibilities and showed me ones that I never considered. Working with him has been a truly life-changing experience.”

Partner, IT & Telecom, Defense Solutions

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